Attempt status:vain

Your updates on my college trials are spanning few and far between. I do sincerely apologize for that. It's raining yet again, I want to actually speak to someone familiar, other than my mom, on the phone, I should be reading for class tomorrow and yet here I sit, typing at this screen like mad, and as an ending to this list, I generally feel utterly alone on this campus.



Yes, there are people I can talk to if I need something, have a question, or want to hang out for five to ten minutes, but there aren't many, and we aren't close yet. It's strange and different, but I'm slowly adapting, or at least I believe that I am and am determined to feign contentment for as long as it takes to truly be content.



I do love the school though, and the few friends I've made thus far are wonderful. Even the one's who wouldn't exactly consider me as a "friend" yet, I find that I am drawn to them. Moth to the flame though really; I'm probably trusting too easily.

Today did it for me though. Tears poured freely from my eyes in homesickness. I found a picture that Garrick, the 6 year old at the rec, drew for me. I miss him and his brother so much, I miss all of them. They truly became part of my life last summer. I miss my best friends. I miss just hanging out, after getting off work, doing nothing and having the best time. I want my new life, but I want my old one too. Tears don't change anything though and I need to buck up and live.